I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
