paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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