I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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