Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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