well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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