I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
