You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 words: hood of his car
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize