4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
