ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
