i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
