I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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