I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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