he thought i was a dude.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
