i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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