I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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