that's an acceptable place to lick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
