mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
