My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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