You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.