she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry