Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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  (804): i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life http://tfl.nu/us99
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (2902)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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  (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica
  Replies (16) Good night (1234) Bad night (3847)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today

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  (225): ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today http://tfl.nu/mtu3
  Replies (17) Good night (1230) Bad night (9428)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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  (540): Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof. http://tfl.nu/2421
  Replies (20) Good night (8017) Bad night (1652)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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  (708): I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard http://tfl.nu/i4gj
  Replies (19) Good night (4254) Bad night (1302)
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  (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
  Replies (10) Good night (5704) Bad night (939)
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  (607): View more from New York

  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

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  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
  Replies (17) Good night (3065) Bad night (928)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.

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  (269): I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it. http://tfl.nu/gxrr
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (1326)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.

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  (678): It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes. http://tfl.nu/rtfu
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (544)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile

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  (406): Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile http://tfl.nu/ji9d
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (692)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?

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  (305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire. (1-305): Are you fucking a guy or a condo building? http://tfl.nu/f6au
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (325)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My legs r really sober for running now

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think that's how sobriety works.

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  (919): My legs r really sober for running now (1-919): I don't think that's how sobriety works. http://tfl.nu/qcs5
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (431)
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  (760): View more from California

  I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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  (760): I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL. http://tfl.nu/3gpf
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (307)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans

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  (443): Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans http://tfl.nu/4sr3
  Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (196)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

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  (+44): Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me. http://tfl.nu/0a0k
  Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (161)

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