Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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  (419): There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around http://tfl.nu/vprs
  Replies (41) Good night (769) Bad night (3366)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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  (816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7
  Replies (53) Good night (723) Bad night (3510)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  That's not a bad idea, actually...

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  (503): 24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online. (1-503): That's not a bad idea, actually... http://tfl.nu/oxdt
  Replies (19) Good night (3941) Bad night (608)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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  (858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume http://tfl.nu/37b5
  Replies (16) Good night (4658) Bad night (840)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

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  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (18211) Bad night (934)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this

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  (908): i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this http://tfl.nu/3v1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1111) Bad night (3600)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

  (904): View more from Florida

  FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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  (614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p
  Replies (18) Good night (7603) Bad night (1067)
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  (760): View more from California

  when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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  (760): when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice. http://tfl.nu/5xpe
  Replies (21) Good night (7242) Bad night (1629)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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  (570): Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/hfr5
  Replies (14) Good night (3590) Bad night (773)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.

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  (719): No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor. http://tfl.nu/gx10
  Replies (7) Good night (949) Bad night (6405)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

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  (703): I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia. http://tfl.nu/9rne
  Replies (8) Good night (1818) Bad night (1063)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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  (928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb
  Replies (17) Good night (3376) Bad night (883)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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  (860): Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me http://tfl.nu/m9pd
  Replies (8) Good night (815) Bad night (595)
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  (415): View more from California

  She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.

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  (415): She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision. http://tfl.nu/yqhh
  Replies (19) Good night (5087) Bad night (687)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1488) Bad night (451)

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