Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already