someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
