He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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