And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
