apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize