The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize