You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
