grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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