i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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