I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize