Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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