your parents love me but you hate me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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