I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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