Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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