Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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