Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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