They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
