just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So apparently I’m into choking now
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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