where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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