What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
