dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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