If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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