I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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