you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you had me at cake vodka
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize