my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
