So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
