More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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