did you get engaged???
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
