is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Randomize
