just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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