So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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