Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
