This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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