Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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