Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
