I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
