Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
