your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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