im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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