Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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