break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
