her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this will be a night to untag.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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