We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
