I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
