If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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