i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
